day 8: 3 things you want to say to 3 different people.
(i’ve held back my ranting/venting sessions for this particular blog post so its gonna be lengthy)
person 1: ya know, i’ve known you for over 10 years. you’ll always be a friend to me and i’m so glad we’re friends again. like you’ve been there for me through so much and me for you. LIKE TEN YEARS IS A LONG TIME MINUS LIKE 2 YEARS WHERE WE DIDN’T SPEAK. you’ve missed so much. i’m really happy youre starting a family and you’re happy. because you deserve it so much. but i can’t tell you how annoying it is when i try to tell you about things in my life but you don’t even act like you care or are interested. not everything can be about you. like friendships are give and take. it’s just like your problems are the only ones are the ones that even matter to you. which i get. a lot is going on in your life. but you can’t forget about your friends. they still matter too. i’m hoping you don’t treat everyone the way that you treat me.
person 2: i honestly miss you soo much. you’ll always be super important to me. i get so sad because i wanna talk to you all the time and catch up but i know that won’t do anything but set me back. i wish i could fill you in on my life and everything that has happened and everything and we could talk again and be super close but idk i guess im just not mentally ready to be able to do that. like you were almost my mother in law and you would have been the best grandma. but you will be one day, so don’t worry and don’t rush it. i hope one day we’re able to catch up :(
person 3: (this is a general one aimed at all the boys that have came through my life) literally fuck you all. that’s all i really have to say. how hard is it to not be a piece of shit every day of your entire life?
day 6: what band/musician is most important to you?
well, i’m not one of those people who are really into musicians and they’re personal lives or even celebrities of any kind. unless i’ve watched/listened to you from a very young age you haven’t really had any type of impact on my life.
day 7: do you read? what are your favorite books?
i love to read, almost anything. it all varies depending on my mood. although, i can’t really read nicholas sparks anymore because i would be a waterfall the entire time i love all of his books. i’ve also read the fifty shades series, the hunger games series, harry potter series, and the twilight series. i don’t mind rereading random books from any of these because i always catch more things each time i read them and i get so lost in them whenever i do read them.
day 5: five places you want to visit
- nyc times square on new years eve
day 4: explain the meaning behind your tumblr name
okay well my name is so self explainatory. i love glitter and sequins. they’re so cute I LOVE THEM SO MUCH AND THEY DESERVE THE WORLD THATS WHY THEYRE MY URL SO EVERYONE KNOWS ABOUT HTEM AND THEHRE AWESOME OK
day 3: describe your day in great detail
okay; so my day has really really sucked. i’ve been babysitting for the past ten hours. an eight month old and a two and a half year old who don’t even get a long with each other. i napped this morning for two or so hours though so that was really nice. we watched the little mermaid, frozen, and harry potter: the goblet of fire. we also listened to music via pandora because silence is weird. i had breakfast bars all day and ate breakfast version corn dogs this morning which is basically sausage covered in a pancake and just so you know they are super delicious. it’s going on 4 now, which means i’m going to be babysitting for approximately an hour and a half. i’m hoping that the 8 month old sleeps for a good remainder of the time, she’s really crabby and tired at the moment. i’m pretty sure she’s teething because nothing really makes her happy for more than two minutes. today i’ve talked to austin, the other austin, breanna, paige, and nikki. today is also my two month anniversary of being single.
day 2: 10 likes & dislikes
day 1: write some basic things about yourself
okay this should be easy. my name is caitlin and i’m twenty years old. i live in america and i’ve never left my country, although i want to. i have 1 niece who i adore and family is really important to me. i’m single and just got out of an unhealthy 5 year relationship. i develop feelings for people easily but they fade as fast as they came usually. my favorite color is pink and i like sparkles. i don’t care where i end up in life as long as its on the coast. i’m obsessed with the ocean and i could spend forever there.
OKAY SO I JUST WANNA SAY THAT I’M REALLY SICK OF SEEING ALL THESE POSTS ABOUT CHEATERS AND YOU CALLING THEM SCUM OF THE EARTH AND IT REALLY ANNOYS ME BECAUSE YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW THE SITUATION YEAH YOU’RE SCUM IF YOU CHEAT AND TRY TO LIE ABOUT IT OR DON’T EVEN TELL YOUR SPOUSE BUT IF YOU CHEAT AND YOU LEARN SOMETHING OUT OF IT THEN I THINK IT CAN BE A GOOD THING. LIKE YOU GOT SOMETHING OUT OF IT. AFTER BEING CHEATED ON FOR FIVE YEARS I CHEATED BACK AND IT MADE ME REALIZE I DIDN’T REALLY LOVE MY EX TYLER AND I HAVEN’T FOR A LONG TIME AND WHEN I CHEATED IT GAVE ME THE EXTRA PUSH THAT I NEEDED TO LEAVE HIM AND STAY GONE. IT WAS REALLY HARD BECAUSE HE WAS MY FIRST EVERYTHING SO IT’S REALLY DIFFICULT TO BE LIKE NO SORRY I DON’T LOVE YOU ANYMORE BUT I HONESTLY DON’T AND I’M JUST SICK OF HIM STILL POPPING UP IN MY LIFE AND TALKING SHIT ABOUT ME ON SOCIAL MEDIA LIKE I NEVER DID THAT TO YOU WHEN YOU CHEATED ON ME AND BROKE MY HEART 1000 TIMES I WASN’T IMMATURE BUT YOU ARE. YOURE SO IMMATURE AND DUMB AND I KNOW YOU ONLY FUCKING TWEET AND TWEET AT PEOPLE I FOLLOW IN HOPES THAT I WILL SEE IT AND ILL MISS YOU BUT I DON’T MISS YOU OKAY IM TOTALLY FUCKING OKAY WITH BEING SINGLE AND NOT HAVING SOMEONE TO KISS OR CUDDLE OR HAVE SEX WITH I WAS SO DEPENDENT ON YOU BECAUSE YOU CARVED IT INTO MY BRAIN THAT I WOULD BE MISERABLE WITHOUT YOU BUT IM NOT IM REALLY HAPPY OKAY I DON’T NEED ANOTHER PERSON TO MAKE ME FEEL WHOLE LIKE YOU DO YOUVE TALKED TO LIKE 10+ GIRLS SINCE WEVE BROKEN UP AND ITS SO PATHETIC. YOURES SO PATHETIC. I REGRET EVER TALKING TO YOU OR STAYING WITH YOU OR TRUSTING YOU EVER. YOU DUMB FAGGOT.
i honestly believe it’s more damaging if someone emotionally cheats on you rather than physically going out and doing something with another person.now a days, there are so many different ways to disrespect your significant other and put the relationship at risk. back in the day it was just cheating when you sleep with another person, which is what my mom thinks, but i completely disagree. with all this technology and social media there are the simplest ways to cheat. in my opinion if you’re doing something you wouldn’t want your bf/gf doing then you’re doing something wrong. i know i’m not innocent, i often did things that i would get jealous over. i just think i’m not a relationship person. i’m not meant for relationships, or any of that lovey dovey stuff. do i want it? of course i do, more than anything. but i think i need to go through serious recovery before i’m ready again. you shouldn’t jump from relationship to relationship because you’ll bring your old relationship problems into your new relationship, which is exactly what happened with me and my ex. he accused me of all these things and didn’t give me any space and always made me feel like i was doing terrible things, when in fact it was just his insecurities. so since it was my first relationship, i thought that was normal. so i just stuck with it because i thought that’s what everyone dealt with behind closed doors. i’m sad that it’s not, that i put up with so much. i was physically cheated on a couple times, meaning nothing serious but definitely stuff you shouldn’t be doing while you’re in a relationship with someone you supposedly “love”. and to be honest it didn’t hurt nearly as bad as when i would see messages and texts and calls between my ex and other females. it hurt like hell. i think it’s harder to be emotionally cheated on because it’s emotional. it’s not just some sexual attraction. it’s an emotional attraction. they’re not making some half conscious decision to make out with the girl at the end of the bar because her dress fits her well. they’re making the serious effort to think of another like they think of you and talk to them as if they’re lovers also. it’s also harder because it’s really easy to talk yourself out of things like that. like oh we’re really old friends and we were just catching up. half the time you only end up seeing some of the messages that were received and sent. so you can only really know about those messages and i promise you whatever your worst fear is, it’s probably happened. a lot more was said than just those messages you saw. humans are shitty like that. you could be putting 100% into your relationship and the truth is, you can’t force someone to only want you. i can’t tell you how long i put up with this, honestly because i don’t even know. it happened all the time. i’m sort of disguisted that i actually meant so little to someone who meant the world to me. they didn’t care about my feelings at all and they laughed behind my back about everything. my feelings were mocked in public and only cared about in private. i think it’s a lot harder to leave because you’re just like “oh they were just talking its not that serious” but honestly when you look back you’ll realize how incredibly stupid you look. never settle. there’s always better. people told me thousands of times but you can’t really take advice. actually trusting peoples advice is the hardest. and you’ll never actually leave until you’re ready.